If you type in ‘Jewel Newsome’ on Facebook, you might see my old profile. Actually, numerous profiles. I also created numerous Instagram and Twitter accounts. To this day, I’m embarrassed at how many profiles I created on these different platforms. When I’m asked why I have so many profiles, I say “I was going through a phase.” And it’s not a lie. I was, indeed, going through a phase where I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted to do, and just liked the idea of having a personal profile and a profile for possible business ventures. I was, also, between the ages of 16 and 18 which just so happened to be a couple of my most difficult years, so far. Simply put, it was a phase filled with identity crisis.
Now, I have only one profile that I operate off of. One Facebook profile, one Instagram account, one Twitter, and one Snapchat account. I use each for business and personal things, and life’s been great.
In July 2016, someone I treasured and held close to my heart told me that they didn’t respect me and they respected another person (someone I held even closer to my heart) more than me, and didn’t have a reason as to why. To say it shook me is an understatement. It made me do a complete 180! Passive and dismissive Jewel had suddenly become confident and outspoken Jewel. I began speaking up for myself a whole lot more and, really, being my best self. Now, we’re in February 2018 and I’m in such an amazing place in my life. It’s not perfect but I finally know who I am and am comfortable with learning more about myself. I’ve learned to accept my flaws, shortcomings, terrible decisions, and slip-ups. I actually treasure those more than my strengths because I’m a natural learner and I love learning more about myself. I learn more from my weaknesses than I do my strengths because I can decipher and prioritize what I need to work on. I’m all about personal development, so what better way to mature and better yourself than self-inspection and taking inventory of your weaknesses? It’s an amazing concept and process.
What that person said hurt, in the moment. It cut me deep and, to be honest, made me really angry. It took me a while to realize that how someone else feels about me is none of my business and I definitely wasn’t about to try to change the way they viewed me. However people feel about me is a personal matter. That’s not my issue to work out. Once I understood that concept, I shrugged it off and kept it moving. I was more in love with how at peace was my spirit was, how calm my mind was, and how much easily I slept at night than to pursue or seek out the answer to changing their personal views & opinions of me. And, funny enough, when I stopped caring what people thought about me and how I did things, I noticed that I started loving myself so much more. My smiles were genuine, my laughs were hearty and came easily, my heart was warm, and I didn’t scoff at the thought of stepping out of my comfort zone. It was such an amazing and freeing experience. It, also, showed me that something that could’ve hurt me & made me bitter actually helped me & made me a much better person, mother, friend, and sister.
I feel like, after that comment in 2016, I finally met myself. That statement gave me an ultimatum. I could continue to let people say things & do things to me without recourse or I could just cut them (and their negativity) off. I obviously did the latter, and I don’t regret it at all. I watched myself change from a person that didn’t understand the slightest bit about herself to being a person that knows exactly who she is, what she’s capable of, and lets her work ethic, attitude, and presence speak for itself. It’s an absolute blessing, to say the least, and I will forever be grateful.